This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize