I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
