remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im holly from the hills drunk
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
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she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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