i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
