that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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