I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize