Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
