On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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