So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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