So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
