Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
