Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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