this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
