Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
