I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
