We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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