Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
