Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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