Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
