Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
