so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Still dying that you shit outside
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
