Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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