he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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