We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my shit smells like andre
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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