You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
