This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
