We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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