One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
