I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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