The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I need moral support for this bender
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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