he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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