I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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