Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
