Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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