obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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