You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
