The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
