she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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