In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
