Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
