Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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