I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
