Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm at about main and main street
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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