Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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