As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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