soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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