i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
