Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
