did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You took a bar mat shot.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
