Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
