I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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