Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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