Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
