In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
