I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
