I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
