i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
