So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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