Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
