the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
