Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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