He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize