I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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