i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
