Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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