he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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